It’s a constant state — and so is our fight against it. We’re wired to fight change. And yet, the more we fight — the more we resist — the more painful change can be.
(Stress, after all, comes from wishing things to be other than they are….)
Change is a process, one governed by a tradeoff between time and energy. Yes, they work together, but in many ways they act as point / counterpoint: you can get through the process of change quickly if you expend a lot of energy. If you work hard to process the change, accept it, and move forward with things in that altered state.
But that’s rarely easy, which is when time takes over… and you have to wait. Which isn’t easy either.
You have to choose your pain.
Yes, it’s a hard choice. It’s harder still when the change that needs to happen — or has already happened — lies between us and others, not just in ourselves. Maybe it’s between two friends. Or colleagues. Maybe it’s between where you are and where you want your staff, or even your company, to be.
You may be ready to spend that energy and go through the process, and get to the other side where things feel comfortable and normal again, even if it’s a new normal.
But if they’re not ready (or if they’re skeptical, or unwilling, or hesitant or or or…), then you can spend a lot of (usually pretty painful) energy on trying to make them get them through the process, in trying to make them see the benefits, in trying to make them see that on the other side of that roller coaster of change lies safe and solid, if different, ground.
But people change when they’re ready, not when you are.
So sometimes you have to change to bring a change about. Maybe you have to change how you think, or how you see the situation. Or your approach.
Sometimes you have to change… like the wind. You have to be constant, not confrontational. Powerful, not pushy. You have to surround, not attack. Wear away, not break apart.